DNF. Whatever you had hoped, a DNF (Did Not Finish) spells disappointment for pretty well everyone. For every athlete a specific place or finish time may be a great achievement or well below expectations relative to their own capability and hopes. However nobody trains for and starts a race with the expectation of not reaching the finish line.
I was at Ironman Zurich, supposedly my "A" race of the season as I was hoping to put down a really solid time on a relatively fast course. I would be helped by the fact it was not too far from home, reducing the impact of travel, and on similar terrain to that I train here; alpine lakes, rolling country roads and a flat run around the lake. All was boding well a week out. I was swimming my fastest ever in training sessions, my run which had been strangely "off" for the first half of the year seemed to be coming back both in training and racing (at the Annecy OD a few weeks ago I ran just 50s slower than my best OD run) and my bike was solid as ever.
On the day I drove to Zurich I knew something was off though. For months I had been pleased that my immunity held up well despite the triple whammy of iron-distance training, kids coming home with bugs from school and less sleep than I would ideally get. However as my training volume reduced in the pre-race taper, when I should theoretically be recovering energy, I finally let a lurking lurgy in. My chest was tight and my head a few kilos heavier than normal thanks to the hammers that were operating on the inside of it. By the Friday before the race it was clear I was sick with more than a 24 hr nasty. Despite sleep, Vit C, garlic and zinc I was getting worse not better. The night before I was finally no worse and so, ever optimistic that I had done enough to hold it off, I had a chat to Rob and decided to race and give it my best. I knew that I wasn't well but I didn't want to believe that it was too bad and preferred to hope that it was just me being oversensitive prior to a big event as can happen. As a single mum M-F of two young children due to my husband's work schedule, and as an athlete mid-season, I know I can't afford burying myself in a sickness hole that is too deep or takes too long to climb out of. I therefore started the race with more awareness of the possibility of a DNF than ever before. Still, I knew I was fit and prepared for the event, was experienced at this distance and that my body would do all it could on the day when asked. On vera! Let's go and see.
In the first brawl of the swim I struggled getting my breathing to settle as I coughed underwater and tried to hang onto the feet heading past. Crap! Missed them. As it was a pros only start 5 mins ahead of the masses, I was quickly left behind with a couple of weaker swimmers from the pro pack to lead around with no drafting help for most of the 3.8k. 7mins slower than I had hoped, I exited the water and got onto the bike, still hopeful that out of the water I would be better off as coughing up green gunk there becomes a liability to anyone trying to draft me, more so than to me as it was in the swim.
I rode ok on the first lap through the cool weather and rainstorms passing a few girls and on track for a solid but not sensational ride time, but I still hadn't been able to get my breathing properly settled, and couldn't quite slot into top gear. By the start of the second lap I knew that trying to finish the marathon would likely bury me physically and certainly wouldn't deliver the PB or even top 10 performance I had set myself up for. So I decided to turn it into a long training day and hoped I could finish at least one lap of the run (10.55k) so that I knew all the course, had finished a solid run off the bike and didn't put the fatigue into the legs that would stop me racing elsewhere once I was fully well. Unfortunately even this plan unravelled as 2k out of T2 I couldn't breathe and was coughing more and more. Time to head back and hand in my number to the officials before I got too far away from the finish area and had a long walk.
Even though I had known for a couple of hours that this was a likely outcome, I still felt absolutely terrible as I pulled off the course next to my friend Esti who was there cheering a crowd of friends on, including me. She had really helped me try and recover prior to the race as I was staying at her place, but now had to console me as I gave up. Despite personal disappointment, I really felt I had let down my friends, husband and kids, coach and others who support me either on course or from afar. Esti, and the others there on the day; Em, Justin, Rob and the boys, said just the right things at the time to help me deal with those feelings of failure to them. Thanks guys! I really appreciated your support, even more so given that it wasn't for a great outcome. Jackson at least did the family proud having a good Ironkids race while I was out on the bike. Well done little roo!
So what happens if you DNF at an ironman? I had never thought of it before. Firstly at the event, make sure you let officials know you have pulled out. At a recent trail running event in my home valley in the Alps a number of people pulled out of the race at night, didn't tell anyone and as a result initiated a search party response while they headed home oblivious. A tri course is not so dangerous to manage, but race organisers are responsible for athletes on course so it is important to let them know you are no longer on it. Secondly, even though I hadn't finished the full course, I had still raced more than 6 hours so needed to get some food, drink and warm clothes on. The food area wasn't yet ready for the flow of athletes expected a few hours later, but still I got some fruit and drinks, my dry clothes bag and then headed home as soon as I could get my bike out of transition to hopefully kickstart a fast recovery.
Mentally I had to manage the disappointment of a major goal not being reached. As I watch the Olympics now, many more athletes will likely have to learn to manage disappointment than the delight of success. Only 3 athletes/teams generally get medals, yet many in each event will have been physically and mentally prepared to aspire to such heights. I think that the difficulty of any goal increases its value, so that when it is achieved (and hopefully for mine still will be) it is even sweeter for the knowledge of how hard it has been to get everything just right to get there. At least I don't need to wait 4 years to my next opportunity! As I got full blown bronchitus after the race I also know that I did the right thing pulling out of the race rather than risking my health further. 12 days later I had just about fully recovered and was able to go to Alpe D'Huez to race the CD triathlon there, finishing a solid 9th (1st masters). Importantly for me too, I didn't get so sick I couldn't look after my kids properly during that time.
A really interesting experience was the physical / muscular recovery post Zurich. Although I was unwell, and didn't train for a week or so after the race, my body recovered after the swim and bike legs really fast. I felt hugely different to the way I do usually after a full ironman. It just illustrated to me very clearly that the real muscular damage and deep fatigue that comes after an ironman is really the result of pounding the pavement pre-fatigued in the marathon.
Now a few weeks later I get to sign up to the legendary Embrunman which includes a stunning alpine lake swim that starts in the dark following a lit kayak, +5,000m climbing in the 188k bike course including the Col d'Izoard (at 2,360m) and a hilly marathon around the town and surrounds. Not a place for PBs! An amazing race though and one I couldn't have put into my schedule this year if I had finished the race in Zurich and was still in recovery phase. Another long day to plan for and a top 10 place to aspire to. After always receiving a finishers t-shirt/medal/... from every race I had started, and really only ever getting excited by place or time goals, not the finish itself, I now have a new respect for the act of crossing that line at the end. Nothing is certain in long course racing. Finishing is a privilege hard earned.
 |
| Liam patiently waiting for Mum. |
In the first brawl of the swim I struggled getting my breathing to settle as I coughed underwater and tried to hang onto the feet heading past. Crap! Missed them. As it was a pros only start 5 mins ahead of the masses, I was quickly left behind with a couple of weaker swimmers from the pro pack to lead around with no drafting help for most of the 3.8k. 7mins slower than I had hoped, I exited the water and got onto the bike, still hopeful that out of the water I would be better off as coughing up green gunk there becomes a liability to anyone trying to draft me, more so than to me as it was in the swim.
I rode ok on the first lap through the cool weather and rainstorms passing a few girls and on track for a solid but not sensational ride time, but I still hadn't been able to get my breathing properly settled, and couldn't quite slot into top gear. By the start of the second lap I knew that trying to finish the marathon would likely bury me physically and certainly wouldn't deliver the PB or even top 10 performance I had set myself up for. So I decided to turn it into a long training day and hoped I could finish at least one lap of the run (10.55k) so that I knew all the course, had finished a solid run off the bike and didn't put the fatigue into the legs that would stop me racing elsewhere once I was fully well. Unfortunately even this plan unravelled as 2k out of T2 I couldn't breathe and was coughing more and more. Time to head back and hand in my number to the officials before I got too far away from the finish area and had a long walk.
 |
| End of lap 1, going ok, just not feeling great |
So what happens if you DNF at an ironman? I had never thought of it before. Firstly at the event, make sure you let officials know you have pulled out. At a recent trail running event in my home valley in the Alps a number of people pulled out of the race at night, didn't tell anyone and as a result initiated a search party response while they headed home oblivious. A tri course is not so dangerous to manage, but race organisers are responsible for athletes on course so it is important to let them know you are no longer on it. Secondly, even though I hadn't finished the full course, I had still raced more than 6 hours so needed to get some food, drink and warm clothes on. The food area wasn't yet ready for the flow of athletes expected a few hours later, but still I got some fruit and drinks, my dry clothes bag and then headed home as soon as I could get my bike out of transition to hopefully kickstart a fast recovery.
Mentally I had to manage the disappointment of a major goal not being reached. As I watch the Olympics now, many more athletes will likely have to learn to manage disappointment than the delight of success. Only 3 athletes/teams generally get medals, yet many in each event will have been physically and mentally prepared to aspire to such heights. I think that the difficulty of any goal increases its value, so that when it is achieved (and hopefully for mine still will be) it is even sweeter for the knowledge of how hard it has been to get everything just right to get there. At least I don't need to wait 4 years to my next opportunity! As I got full blown bronchitus after the race I also know that I did the right thing pulling out of the race rather than risking my health further. 12 days later I had just about fully recovered and was able to go to Alpe D'Huez to race the CD triathlon there, finishing a solid 9th (1st masters). Importantly for me too, I didn't get so sick I couldn't look after my kids properly during that time.
A really interesting experience was the physical / muscular recovery post Zurich. Although I was unwell, and didn't train for a week or so after the race, my body recovered after the swim and bike legs really fast. I felt hugely different to the way I do usually after a full ironman. It just illustrated to me very clearly that the real muscular damage and deep fatigue that comes after an ironman is really the result of pounding the pavement pre-fatigued in the marathon.
 |
| Enjoying every finish. Jackson at Zurich |
If you do happen to DNF along the way in your journey (figuratively or literally), I hope you find that is a step on the road to eventual success and hopefully an opportunity to respect your achievement and savor the moment even more fully next time you cross that finish line.
À bientôt
Christine
Great thing that you're going to Embrun. I'll be there to support a friend (and race the OD beforehand). I'll be all warmed up to extend my cheering to you and pass on as much positive energy as I can !
ReplyDeleteThanks Julien. See you there!
ReplyDelete